9.28.2010

Bay Area Fashion Photographer Found Beaten in Mission Alley

Fashion Designer/Photographer Daniel Chimowitz, former companion of fashion blogger Kristin Tieche, was found beaten and bloody in a Mission District alleyway last Sunday evening.

Witnesses report that Ms. Tieche, still at large, was responsible for the beating. Apparently the dispute began over an Alexander McQueen clutch.
a quarrel over a clutch

Chimowitz reportedly gave another woman the exact same clutch - stylist Tricia Gillespie.
the secret weapon

Tieche was seen heading Southeast on her Motobecane about an hour before the incident, determined and with a mission on her mind.
I have a mission

She had the clutch in her possession and was ready to use it.
weapon of choice

She found Chimowitz in the alley behind the Women's Building and attacked without hesitation.
I found the bum lying in an alley

Chimowitz said he didn't see it coming.
mama said knock you out

A brutal fight ensued.
kill kill

I never liked your stupid glasses neither

Tieche stated that she believes McQueen would have been proud to see the clutch used the way it was intended.
take it like a man

Silly Chimowitz didn't realize that Tieche and Gillespie were colleagues in the fashion industry. Fashion faux-pas numero uno: don't give both your girlfriends the same McQueen clutch, a**hole.
time to beg for mercy

Chimmy feebly tried to defend himself.
My accomplice kills it

But dangerous Gillespie drew blood.
you betta be scared

Poor Chimmy could barely crawl when the ladies left him the alley.
we left him crawling

Mission Accomplished.
Mission Accomplished
I'll keep the clutch.

10 comments:

Aileen said...

Jeez man, you really had me going there! ...A clutch like that is totally worth fighting for though ;)

Brent said...

I suppose among the range of occupation hazards confronting workers of all kinds, being blackened in an alley by insane, jealous fashionistas would count as light duty.

Kristin Tieche said...

A McQueen clutch no less! What an idiot!

Jym said...

=v= I find this entry disturbingly short on bike content.

McQueen, of course, is the person most responsible for the "coin slot" look rocked by so many fixie riders.

Kristin Tieche said...

It's a bike FASHION blog, Jym.

Jores said...

Love the drama!

'Xander said...

o.k remind me to keep my distance..

great photo story.. made my day

Jym said...

=v= I guess I'm just clueless about clutches. Today's Times (which seems to be competing with you) offers spiffy bags that keep your hands free.

I've been happy with my Swrve cycling jeans, now available in a Barneys limited edition, which are higher in the back than the front. Since these are the opposite of McQueen's "bumsters," not only do I avoid inadvertently collecting the season's falling leaves and acorns, I'm also safe from a fashion-rage beatdown in the Mission.

Kristin Tieche said...

Jym - send us a pic of you looking spiffy in your Barneys!

The po campo bags are very cute and great for urban cycling - not so great for beating up boyfriends! ;-)

She Rides a Bike said...

Hilarious! Completely unexpected.